In case anyone was wondering...

... the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and a colicky baby do not go well together. Just in case you didn't know that.

I don't know... colic, reflux, adverse reaction to my dairy intake? This fussiness is all new to me. Matthew was the easiest baby. Not that Owen is that difficult, but around 7 or 8 at night he starts fussing. Now, I've heard of babies who cry for hours no matter what anyone does for them. But Owen is content to be held and "snacking" as I call it. He'll nurse, then take a 15 minute break, and want to nurse again. And, rather aggressively, I might add. Doctor said it sounds like colic. I just feel bad for the little guy. He's not a happy camper. I guess I'll keep trying to figure it out.

Had my 6 week post-partum appointment today. I can't believe it's been 6 weeks! Had the ole birth control talk with my doctor... it was all I could do but practically burst out laughing mid-conversation. Me? Birth control? Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!!

Hubs was all adamant about Owen being our last. I was fine with that, as it is not as if we've had the best of luck fertility wise. Owen was an unexpected blessing. A true miracle. I feel so blessed that he is here with us. But, now we just aren't sure if we want to try again. I don't know if I'm strong enough to TTC. Who knows how long it would take us to conceive? And what if I had another miscarriage? Do we want to practice some sort of birth control, or just let "nature take it's course"? We just don't know.

I feel selfish contemplating baby #3. I feel angry that infertility and pregnancy loss has made me scared to think of trying to conceive again.

I guess once you're an infertile, you're always an infertile, no matter how many babies you have. It changes the fiber of your being forever.

I am so grateful for the little men in my life. It was worth every tear and every heart ache. Infertility can't rob me of that.

'tis the season...

Ok, Ok, I know Christmas is over. Can you believe it?? It just went by so quickly.

All, in all, we had a nice visit(s). We managed to dodge a nasty stomach flu that was airborne in 2 households that we visited (so far anyway).

Last Saturday, Santa came to our house. It was AWESOME! Matthew was totally into it... he kept shouting "thank you Santa!" into the air, followed by, "I'm going to be even better next year so I can get even more presents!"

I made out pretty good, too. Santa surprised me with one of those journey diamond pendants. It is perfect... especially since I thought Santa was only bringing me a wooden cell phone charger organizer thing. Santa put the little box the pendant was in into the box with the organizer. Tricky, tricky Santa! Now granted, I had also shouted into the air begging Santa for it after I saw it was on sale and reasonably priced at M@cy's. So see, it does work! My son is onto something!

The only problem is that now Santa and I are fighting. Nice, huh?!? He gets me a diamond and I'm still pissy. Unfortunately, our desktop completely crashed right before we were leaving for our trip. Luckily, my brother is my own personal IT support, so we packed it along. My primary concern was that all of our pictures were on the hard drive, and hadn't been backed up in probably a year. Smart... real smart! PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT... BACK-UP YOU PICTURES!!!!

Fortunately, my brother seems to have been able to salvage them. He his now trying to determine if the computer is officially toast (it's going on 4 years old), or if he can fix it.

My dear, wonderful husband has decided he would like to forgo any possibility of a repair and just get a new computer. A $1300 computer. Right after Christmas. Right when we're finally trying to get our finances in order.

Now, if my brother comes back and says it's a goner, then I say fine, get the new computer. But if we can use it for maybe another 6 months or a year or so... then why not? Well, because my husband is acting like an immature 13 year old little boy, that's why. And yes, I called him that.

To which he hung up on me mid-sentence (he was at the store computer shopping). Then we went to bed and didn't speak a word to each other. And when I finally broke the silence this morning and said, "I don't appreciate being treated like this," he replied, "you're acting as if your bipolar," yeah, that didn't sit well.

Needless to say, it hasn't been fun in these parts. We very rarely fight. But when we do, we're both rather passive-aggressive about things. See, passive-aggressive-- YES, but bipolar-- NO!

Anyway, on a completely different note, my mother did something really cool. She has made these felt stockings for all in our family. Felt stockings with a bunch of hand-sewn sequins and beads and stuff. I've had the same stocking for the past 30 years. She's made a new one for each new member that's either married or been born into our family.

Growing up, my siblings and I would play little games with them. My mom always had them hung on the mantle from oldest to youngest. For whatever reason, we thought it was cool to put our stocking in the first position. So we'd constantly be moving them, and my mom would be putting them back to "her way." So, upon arriving to her house this year, that was one of the first things I did as soon as she turned her back. The "Jennifer" stocking was properly placed in position #1... in your face siblings!

There was something different about my stocking. She had added these snow-flake things to my stocking only, and hand sewn them on with some beading. There was three of these snowflakes. I think they represent my 3 angel babies. I didn't make it a point to bring it up. Maybe I'm wrong. But, God bless my Mom.

Funny thing is, my Mom also had a miscarriage. She has opened up to me about it a few times after my experiences. I don't think she really thought about it much until all of my drama. I'd like to think that maybe by me being open in regards to my feelings and grief, perhaps I've helped her process her loss as well.

Well, that's it for now. I'm off to bed, and hopefully to mend some fences.

Blood... blood everywhere! Part 2

In case you missed my last bloody incident, please feel free to get caught up.

Only this time, my dear son, thankfully, has had no further blood loss.

This time, it's my cat.

Until recently, I really loved my cat. He even has a cool story as to how we "obtained" him.

DH and I were newly engaged. He lived here in Michigan. I was still living in Chicago. I was out to visit him one weekend. It was in February. We were getting married in September in Chicago, so we were trying to use our time wisely. Every time we were together, we would try to get something wedding related done.

So, on this fateful weekend, we went to our local jeweler to choose our wedding rings.

The jeweler was right near the local mall. We successfully picked out our rings. They said they could size them, and we could pick them up an hour later. "Great", we thought. We went to the mall to kill an hour.

After an hour, we approached the car. There curled up under the car parked next to us was a little black kitten.

"Meow," he said, in a weak, whisper. He was shivering. Afterall, it was February. How he ended up in the mall parking lot, I'll never know. But he must have saw "sucker" written across my forehead. He mustered up enough strength to walk towards me.

"Get in the car!" my compassionate fiance insisted.

"Matt, we can't leave him here! He'll freeze or get run over. Pllleeeaaassee!" I begged.

He agreed (oh, to be engaged again!). But our agreement was we would bring him to the humane society on Monday.

And here we are, 7 years later. He's still with us.

And peeing blood over everything.

I should have suspected something. I took him to the vet probably 18 months ago. He had started 'emptying his bladder' in laundry baskets. If I had dirty clothes in them, he'd piss. If I had clean clothes folded him them, he'd piss. So, I was pissed.

Brought him into the vet... they ran a bunch of tests... they were all inconclusive... and I paid like $300 to be told it was "behavioral."

Kind of sounds like a trip to the RE!

Anyway, this laundry basket thing was off and on. He'd stop doing it for months, and then it would start again.

But the other night it happened in my son's bed! I was furious!!!

I mean, you could do it anywhere else, but on my baby's, my ONLY child's, my precious miracle's bed, this is where you choose to urinate? Oh, it was on!!

My husband declared that it was time to get rid of him. I could never do that. He's a really nice cat. Very social. He's almost dog-like.

Now, my son has discovered how fun it is to chase the cat. This the cat does not enjoy. So, I was thinking once again, behavioral. The cat was so fed up with my son chasing him, that he showed him who's boss. So, if I could get my son to stop chasing him, the cat would stop seeking revenge. Logical, right?

Until wonderful DH went up to bed tonight. I hear, "For the love of God and all things holy!.. there's blood all over the comforter!"

Not words anyone wants to hear.

My dear, sweet cat urinated blood on 1) our comforter 2) my son's comforter 3) our love seat

This is just what I've found.

So, I've steamed cleaned our love seat, and have began to wash 2 down comforters. DH is in bed. Please see Wednesday's post... yes, I did write that. In about 2 minutes. Isn't it funny that when your so inspired, the words just come to you? Yeah, I was inspired.

The poor thing. Now I have to break it to DH that he has to take him to the vet tomorrow. He's gonna love that one!

Hope you enjoyed my post about my cat's pee.

Ode to My Husband

On this, the Eve of Thanksgiving, I would like to dedicate this poem to my beloved husband, as I finish preparing our Thanksgiving dinner, as I am going to work tomorrow (and working a double on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday). I love you honey!

If I Had a Penis

If I had a penis
Life would be just great.
I would have a wife to serve me,
While I just sit and wait.

If I had a penis
How happy I would be
As I sit and watch T.V. all day
While she works, cooks, and cleans.

If I had a penis
I could just ignore the mess,
And remind her that she missed a spot
As she handles all the stress.

If I had a penis
I could give opinions and "how to's"
All while sitting on the couch
In between a snooze.

If I had a penis
How blind I would certainly be.
I could just miss the pot
And she'll clean up my pee.

If I had a penis
I'd be king of my house
And my wife would take care of me
'Cause I can't do it myself.