'Twas the season...

We had a busy, but fun, Christmas back home in Illinois. After an 11 hour car ride to my in-laws (delays due to weather, should have been around 6), we finally arrived. We then spent Christmas Eve with them, and then drove another 2 hours to see my family.

The boys' did wonderful in the car. Mommy, not so much.

To sum up our travels...



I go back to work this Friday, Jan. 2nd. I'm not ready, but I guess I need to be.

In case anyone was wondering...

... the hustle and bustle of the holiday season and a colicky baby do not go well together. Just in case you didn't know that.

I don't know... colic, reflux, adverse reaction to my dairy intake? This fussiness is all new to me. Matthew was the easiest baby. Not that Owen is that difficult, but around 7 or 8 at night he starts fussing. Now, I've heard of babies who cry for hours no matter what anyone does for them. But Owen is content to be held and "snacking" as I call it. He'll nurse, then take a 15 minute break, and want to nurse again. And, rather aggressively, I might add. Doctor said it sounds like colic. I just feel bad for the little guy. He's not a happy camper. I guess I'll keep trying to figure it out.

Had my 6 week post-partum appointment today. I can't believe it's been 6 weeks! Had the ole birth control talk with my doctor... it was all I could do but practically burst out laughing mid-conversation. Me? Birth control? Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!!

Hubs was all adamant about Owen being our last. I was fine with that, as it is not as if we've had the best of luck fertility wise. Owen was an unexpected blessing. A true miracle. I feel so blessed that he is here with us. But, now we just aren't sure if we want to try again. I don't know if I'm strong enough to TTC. Who knows how long it would take us to conceive? And what if I had another miscarriage? Do we want to practice some sort of birth control, or just let "nature take it's course"? We just don't know.

I feel selfish contemplating baby #3. I feel angry that infertility and pregnancy loss has made me scared to think of trying to conceive again.

I guess once you're an infertile, you're always an infertile, no matter how many babies you have. It changes the fiber of your being forever.

I am so grateful for the little men in my life. It was worth every tear and every heart ache. Infertility can't rob me of that.

Giving Thanks

I was going to write a list of all the things I am thankful for this year. But in doing so, I realized there would be far to many things to list.

We have had our share of miracles this year...


I don't know why we were blessed so much this year. But, we thank the Lord for hearing our prayers. We pray that we find a way to pay it forward.

Praying for you and yours.

The Truth Hurts

I've seen this around a while ago, and never got around to trying it.

What American accent do you have?

Your Result: The Inland North

 

You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."

The Midland

 

The South

 

Philadelphia

 

North Central

 

The Northeast

 

The West

 

Boston

 

What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Ye Olde Abandon Blog

Hi... remember me? Fifteen weeks pregnant and freaking out with every twitch and every symptom (or lack there of).

Yeah, I had to take a break from the blogosphere for a while (OK... more like 6 months!).

I was googling and looking at every blog I could find about "miscarriage at 15 weeks." Or "lack of fetal movement at 17 weeks." This continued throughout the 2nd trimester. When I entered the 3rd trimester, I stopped going on the internet. It was hard, but I resisted. Apparently, I enjoy a form of self torture where I read other's stories of loss, and rationalize that if it happened to "them," it could happen to "me." Not exactly healthy to put myself in that frame of mind.

So, I walked away. It was really hard, but I did it.

And here it is mid-November. And guess what? I have a healthy, wonderful, miraculous 2 1/2 week baby boy. I'm still trying to figure out how that happened!

Introducing... Owen Henry



He was born on Halloween via scheduled C-section (thank God!), and weighed 9 lbs. 10 oz, and was 21 1/2 inches.



His big brother Matthew seems to be adjusting well...





(and he's doing very well in Kindergarten!).

Well, there you have it. A small but rather significant update. One I never thought I'd ever be posting... I am a mother of two. Weird. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around that one.

In the coming weeks, I'm gonna try a new blog layout, and really, really try to post often. No promises, but that's the plan.

I hope to catch up with everything soon!

I Hate This...

Things have been going well on the pregnancy front. I'm 15 + weeks.

But over the past 3 days I've been experiencing this "heaviness," or "sensation." I don't even know how to describe it. It's basically from my lower abdomen radiating to what I believe is my cervical area, and occasional "twinges" in the vajay-jay area.

It's not cramping. It's not pain. It's just there. There to make worry, and make me all paranoid.

I haven't had any spotting (knocking on wood). I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. He wasn't planning on doing an ultrasound, but I will ask to make sure everything is OK with my cervix. 2 weeks ago, it was great. So hopefully things will continue to go that way.

I'm tired of worrying. It's exhausting. But I guess it's par for the course.

Feeling Like a Fraud

Well I did it.

I went to K*hls and bought 2 pairs of maternity pants. A pair of jeans and a pair of dress pants for work. I got the jeans for $14 and the dress pants for $4.40 (on clearance!). I had to. None of my button up pants are buttoning-up.

I'm coming to about the 13 week mark in this pregnancy. You might say it's a bit early for me to require maternity clothes. But the little bit my uterus has grown has pushed my fat out even further. So, it's mostly to make my fat more comfy.

But it was the stranges sensation shopping in the maternity section. I really didn't want to. I considered just buying regular pants in a size or two bigger. Then I figured I'll have to move into maternity clothes at some point, so why not? Problem was it was like moving into sacred ground. Like when the cool kids in high school sat at the cool table in the cafeteria. And one day, they invite you to sit at the cool table. You've been waiting and waiting to sit at the cool table. Come to find out you like it, it just feels very ackward. And bit fraudulent.