Guilt. I don't remember ever really feeling guilty until I became a mother. Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Am I doing it right? Wrong? Too high-strung? Too laid-back? I just pray for grace as I do the best I can.
Then the second child finally came along. He is, well how should I put this, a needy little guy. Maybe I'm not tending to his needs as promptly as I did his brother's at this age? Speaking of his brother, am I spending enough time with him? I'm suppose to be reading more with him and practicing his handwriting. All hard to do with a baby at the teat.
I just realized I forgot my due date for my 4th pregnancy, which ended in September 2008 at 12 weeks. He would have been 1 on the 20th. A one year-old! And I forgot. My other two angels had due dates back in January, and they never crossed my mind. Sigh.
God grant me peace, serenity and grace.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
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