Feeling Like a Fraud

Well I did it.

I went to K*hls and bought 2 pairs of maternity pants. A pair of jeans and a pair of dress pants for work. I got the jeans for $14 and the dress pants for $4.40 (on clearance!). I had to. None of my button up pants are buttoning-up.

I'm coming to about the 13 week mark in this pregnancy. You might say it's a bit early for me to require maternity clothes. But the little bit my uterus has grown has pushed my fat out even further. So, it's mostly to make my fat more comfy.

But it was the stranges sensation shopping in the maternity section. I really didn't want to. I considered just buying regular pants in a size or two bigger. Then I figured I'll have to move into maternity clothes at some point, so why not? Problem was it was like moving into sacred ground. Like when the cool kids in high school sat at the cool table in the cafeteria. And one day, they invite you to sit at the cool table. You've been waiting and waiting to sit at the cool table. Come to find out you like it, it just feels very ackward. And bit fraudulent.

Where we're at...

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. Between being outside with Matthew all day enjoying the fabulous weather, and going to bed by 8:30 every night, I haven't had much time to do much of anything lately. Including laundry, dishes, and all that good stuff!

So, I had another doctor's appt. yesterday. The first with my regular OB/GYN. It went really well. I had yet another ultrasound. The baby is measuring right around 11 1/2 weeks. I thought I had just hit the 11 week mark, so that was a pleasant surprise.

My OB has decided to wean me off the prednisone at 12 weeks, stop the Progesterone at 12 weeks, and keep my on the Lovenox and aspirin as a sort of "safety net." We have no idea if this combination of drugs has made this pregnancy last as long as it has, but I didn't want to risk stopping the Lovenox and, well, have my first second trimester lost. That doesn't sound like much fun to me.
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He also is having me come in for bi-weekly ultrasounds until about 16 weeks. Around 16 weeks, I'll come in for weekly ultrasounds for a few weeks to ensure my cervix is stable. Sounds good to me!

He then got into whether or not I want to have a repeat C-section or try for a VBAC. I laughed. We concluded that perhaps we should wait until I'm way into the second trimester before we have that discussion.

So all in all, things are going as well as they can. Other than being tired, I'm not having a lot of morning sickness or anything like that. Which is strange. I've always had pretty bad morning sickness w/ all four of my other pregnancies. I've been craving poptarts, which was what I pretty much survived on in college. Strange.

Alrighty then. I think I might do a load or two of laundry. And then I'll have to take a nap!

** Edited to add: There, I did it. To prove I do not believe in jinxes, I've added a pregnancy countdown thingy. I've always wanted to have one. So, I did it. I'm not jinxing myself, am I?!?

10 weeks

Today marks 10 weeks. It's becoming more and more difficult to restrain myself from getting excited.

Except that with my last pregnancy, the 10 week mark is when all hell broke loose. I started spotting, and it was all down hill from there until I miscarried at 12 weeks.

But I know that this is a whole new pregnancy. It is different then any pregnancy I've ever had. It's unique. I want to stop focusing on the past, and focus on the future.

Anyway, I have my next ultrasound appointment a week from tomorrow.

In other news, I bought a waxing kit and waxed my eyebrows. Why didn't I try this before?!? For years I've been plucking, or paying someone else to do the waxing for me. But for my first time, I think it went very well and will be doing it again in the future.

The Second Ultrasound...

... went well! The baby is measuring right at 9 weeks. Heart rate was 156. It was even moving around! I've been released to my regular OB/GYN. I guess all is going well.

I want to get more excited about this pregnancy. It's just that, as I've noted before, I've been down this road before. I've had many "great" ultrasounds.

I hope I don't jinx myself when I say I have a certain "peace" over the past few days. I've just really come to realize that this whole thing is out of my hands. All I can do is take my medications as prescribed and pray. And I've been doing a lot both.

Obsessing, Sleeping, Worrying, and More Sleeping

That about sum's up my last week.

Nothing really going on. Which is good, I'm not complaining. But not much to report.

I've been having some weird pelvic twitches?/pain?/pressure?/cramping? I have no idea how to classify what I'm feeling. It's only occasional. It's more like a keen awareness that I have a uterus. Dr. Google and DH seem to say this is normal. "Round ligament stretching." Golly, I hope that's all it is. You think I'd know what's normal by now, being this is my 5th pregnancy. But I haven't had too much of normal when it comes to the pregnancy department.

Approx. 8 weeks today. The way I look at it, in a few weeks, I should know how this is all going to turn out, one way or another. Just a few short weeks.

In the meantime, I'll keep sleeping. I'm so tired. How I long for my recliner and blanket. DH is taking good care of me. Hot fudge sundaes whenever I ask for them. Hey, I might as well enjoy the perks of pregnancy for as long as I can!