I had to go back to work today. I was dreading it. I really shouldn't complain... I work every other weekend (Fri., Sat., Sun.) as a Hospice nurse. I really love my job. Sure, it has it's moments... people are grieving and often misplace their anger (ha, sounds like me!), and it can be very stressful. But what I was really dreading was the lack of eye contact, the stupid "it wasn't meant to be" comments, and the sense that people are avoiding you because they just don't know what to say.
But... I had a pretty good day at work!
I was met with true compassion. People hugging me... and saying nothing. Co-workers making comments such as "I can't believe this keeps happening to you," with tears in their eyes. Wise suggestions... such as a woman who's daughter has had 4 miscarriages and is now 14 weeks pregnant and using acupuncture.
What a relief!
I can say that infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss has made me a better nurse. More empathetic, and more sincere. These three little one's have helped their mommy obtain so much wisdom and compassion in the few short weeks that they were with me.
On a different note, I was a naughty nurse... I looked up my medical records. Why, why, why, do I like self torture? The pathology report was back... "Immature male fetus... all findings negative." Still waiting cytology. Sigh... I should have 4 little boys : (
Two week post-op is on Tuesday. What a waste of time. There seem to be no answers.
Changing subjects again, thanks for the comments ladies! I was so touched to see the responses. I have to admit I am new to blog world... but I'm so happy I've found it! Feel free to come back anytime and listen to me whine and ramble!
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4 comments:
I'm so sorry. I hope your sister owns up and gives you a call - it's the very least she can do.
Oro
Birch and Maple
I'm glad you had a good day back to work. It had to be hard but sounds like you work with some good people.
As for your sister, I'm sorry that things are this way now. I hope she realizes how much you're hurting.
I was reading your post about the dentist, too. That is so me. I haven't been there in over two years because I don't want to explain the ttc situation. Isn't it strange how IF can effect something routine as going to the dentist? Ugh.... Luckily my friend just started a practice so I'm going to see her soon.
I'm so sorry for what you've been through.
It's awful when a family member doesn't acknowledge a loss with an "I'm sorry". I've had that happen too and I still feel some anger toward those people.
Glad that work at least went OK.
Lisa
I'm so sorry for your losses. Best wishes to you.
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