I'm being a b!tch

I think I'm avoiding people. On purpose.

My mother is high on the list. We normally talk daily, or every-other-day. She lives near Chicago, and I live in Michigan. She tried to help by coming to visit the day after the miscarriage (2 1/2 weeks ago, might I add.) I think it made things worse.

For one thing, I cry. I like to cry a lot. Always have, always will. My mom? Not so much. So, I tried not to cry in front of her. Stupid, I know.

She knit a baby blanket while visiting. It's what she does in her down time. Watches T.V. while knitting. Usually, a good use of time. But why the hell would you do that when your daughter just lost a baby? I know it was not out of malice. But... hello? A little sensitivity??

I could go on. She means well, and I know I'm being harsh.

I haven't spoken with her since Tuesday. She called and left a message on Friday, and I have not returned the call. I'm not really upset with her. It's more like, I really have nothing to say. I have no further information as to what our next step will be, and I know that will come up in conversation. I don't really want to discuss my sister and her adorable, sweet, precious new baby.

See, I told you... I'm a complete bitch.

More wine tonight. I'm limiting it to 2 small glasses... I have to go work out tomorrow morning. Ugh.