Decision 2008

The Michigan primary was held yesterday. I am a transplant here in the Great Lakes state. I must say I have yet to understand the politics here.

Just as the nation has to come to some sort of a decision in 2008 in regards to electing a new president, I feel as if my husband and I must to come to a decision in regards to our future as well.

I think I've expressed this before, but I'm getting tired of this journey. We desperately want another child. And if the past 4 years hasn't proven that this is no easy task, I know that our upcoming decisions will.

The way I see it, we have 3 choices.

#1) Pursue more fertility treatments. My doctor wanted me to start (start meaning since my September miscarriage)Femara with IUI and see if that works (although I've failed 6 rounds of Clomid with 2 IUIs). He then offered to do more Gonadotropins with IUI (again, did 3 rounds already... two with IUI, and one cancelled due to over-stimulation). Of course, he says I can do IVF if I want to. Honestly, I can't see my self jumping through all these hoops again. I think if we decide to do more treatments, I just assume go straight to IVF. Which is fine. But I know all to well that it doesn't guarantee I would get pregnant. And if I got lucky and got pregnant... well, that doesn't mean I'll have a baby.

#2) We adopt. Sounds easy enough. We would need to decide what type of adoption to pursue. International sounds good... but, are there any stable programs at the moment? Not to mention the hefty price tag.

Domestic. I'm not sure I like the idea of relying on someone to choose my fate. I guess it's a control thing.

Foster-adopt. So much to consider. I must say, I've been really looking into this one. It seems like a win-win. I know that any child that is in the foster-care system is there for a reason. And with those reason's comes "issues." Complicating this is that I have an almost 5-year old son. I feel pretty strongly about preserving birth-order. We would all have to work with and through whatever "issues" we face as a family. Which could be too much for a 5-year old to handle.

#3) We leave well enough alone. We are blessed beyond belief with one happy, healthy child. Maybe, just maybe, we'll get lucky in the future. Problem being is that my eggs aren't getting any younger (I'll be 31 TOMORROW, I know I'm not "old," but I certainly am not getting any younger!). DH will be 40 this year. I really don't like this option.

So there is my brief synopsis of the thoughts that haunt me on a daily (and nightly)basis.

We will have a decision by year's end. We just have to.