Think Before You Speak

If there is one thing infertility has taught me, it is to think before I speak.

For example, my friend who recently found out she was pregnant, has had some intermittent spotting. She knows, as do I, that it could be "nothing", or it could be "something."

I think the old Jen, meaning the fertile Jen, would have conjured up such wise words such as, "Everything is going to be fine," or the "If it's meant to be, it will be."

Now the less-fertile but wiser Jen really doesn't say to much to my friend in way of advice. I just let her talk... and tell her that I'll be there for her every step of the way.

See, I've learned... think before you speak.

The reason I bring this all up is I had an awful experience the other day. You see, my dear son turns 5 in a few short days. I can't believe that he's that old! It's gone by so quickly, and everyday he gets bigger, and smarter, and, well, less dependent on me. All of this is bitter sweet. I love to see the person he is turning into, but at the same time, it is hard to see him getting so big!

So, my friend and I have been looking for an excuse to get together. I've been getting everything ready for all of Matthew's birthday festivities (in 3 different states, mind you!). So, she volunteered to "help," as well just get together.

I was making little "goody" bags, and she was helping me stuff them. I was showing her the rather detailed Pirate cupcakes I'm planning on making for his class(pictures to follow!), as well as the other things I have planned.

To which she replied, "You can tell you only have ONE kid!"

Gee, thanks for noticing! Would you like me to lie down on the floor? Perhaps it would be easier for you to kick me if I get down for you?

Of all the idiotic things to say!

Now, I know what she meant. It appears as if I have to much time on my hands. I have always had the tendency to over-do things... to take on more than what is needed. But the truth of the matter is, if I had 10 kids, I think I would do the same for all 10, because that's just what I do. I like to think I'm kind of a "Martha Stewart" type, minus that whole insider trading thing. I love home-making and being crafty, and all of that stuff. I was like this before I got married and before I had Matthew. Having a kid is like hitting the jack-pot when you're crafty, because there are so many opportunities to create things alone, and with the child.

Now, this friend knows what we've been through. I know she didn't mean to be cruel.

I wish I could have come up with something witty after the remark was said such as,"Yeah, in between working out of the home part-time, crunching numbers to see if we can afford fertility treatments and/or adoption, doing house-work, researching infertility treatments and adoption, and, oh yeah, taking care of my ONE kid, I like to be crafty."

But I didn't. I kind of tried to ignore what was said, and move on.

Just move on.